Words to Tow the Day

excerpt from WORDS TO TOW THE DAY with GRANDMA GLASSES

“Nope. Not until today have I encountered these words. Not in the two-volume Oxford Dictionary I kept in my bookshelf neither in Reader’s Digest Word Power,” she tapped her nose while in deep thought.

“Grammar and writing back in my days didn’t require us to use elaborate composition. Conciseness and paraphrasing was and is my way of writing,”mumbles Grandma Glasses.

“I’m not sure if I will remember these words, but it’s good to write them down in case I forget to remember.” Grandma Glasses walks around the room like a  flustered mother hen.

“It may come in handy as writing themes, tags to begin a story, dialogue prompts or outline for a plot,” I was quick to respond confidently.

“OR when I want to confuse people with strange words, or totally disregard them with that,” Grandma Glasses continues.

And our discussion became as theatrical as Brynner and Kerr in the King and I.

(music in background )

(TheWriter enters sheepishly)

(Grandma Glasses shaking her head, stands next to the table)

THE WRITER

Who would want to use psithurism?

GRANDMA GLASSES

when the sound of the wind through trees  seems more visual?

THE WRITER

Or librocubicularist …

(pulls out a book from the shelf)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when plainly a person who reads in bed  is more relaxed and doesn’t sound claustrophobic?

(takes the book from the Writer)

THE WRITER

Defenestrate is too limiting!

(walks to other side of room and looks out the window)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when you want to throw a person or something out of a window , he’s better being sacked!

(walks to TheWriter and taps on his shoulder)

THE WRITER

Of course it will lead to disaster and spellchecker error too —

(turns around and faces Grandma Glasses)

GRANDMA GLASSES

if schlimmbesserung  means an improvement that makes things worse.

(picks up an umbrella from the floor, and flicks it open)

THE WRITER

Why forbid the beauty of the place?

(with arms outstretched)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when a garden walk planted with trees is much beautiful to describe than as xyst alone.

(Gently closes umbrella and slowly walks around the room )

THE WRITER

But I like collywobbles –

(Slowly walks to the door)

GRANDMA GLASSES

as much as I do of butterflies in stomach.

THE WRITER       (Off)

Enough of these strange words.

GRANDMA GLASSES (Off)

These words are too strange for my ears .

(fading music in background )

(light dims and fades)

(curtain close)

“Yes I am a writer. I don’t keep a deadline for my paragraphs. I go with the flow, hang out and brainstorm At The Crafter’s Table. ” – Phwriter11

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Love is Sweeter

14 Feb 2016

“Love is always sweeter when you bake cake together.” – Grandma Glasses

A great way to spend Valentine’s Day is enjoying chocolate cake together. Savoring its smooth, silky, sweetness with thoughts of  the labor of love spent on making that delicious chocolate mousse cake is just ultimate delight. I follow a simple baking mantra, a sweet tooth is a good springboard to happiness.

 

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Pen and Paper Mode

When I dropped by her flat this morning, Grandma Glasses was on the couch just reading a book. I looked at her and asked, “Are you alright Grandma?”

She  was quiet for a while, then she blurted in despair.

“At the Crafter’s Table I did something really bad. It’s so techy bad I had to step back and stay in the kitchen instead.”

“What happened?” I calmly asked. I looked around her flat and it seems impeccably in order.

“My attempt to remove ten malicious threats on my pc failed and I had to ask the I.T. consultant to fix the mess for me.”

“Last time, I managed to fix a similar mess manually without spending a cent except hours sulking at my desk. But this time it was resolved with a $40 adware. I felt so crappy I even had a nightmare,” She continued mumbling her frustration while I sat down next to her to listen.

“I am in the upper echelon of stupid users getting hijacked by the top nasty Trojans. Oh how I hate them. It’s been a while I got into a Trojan domain. And it’s not fun at all. Worrying about how much damage they have done in the system I had to disconnect all my accounts for fear they might jump and do more on my other devices. Not that I have anything but to have a nasty shadow stalking my registry, processes and activities is just as annoying as a fly buzzing around my cup of coffee.”

“I would welcome a pen and paper for my doodles, or the comforting clicks of a rickety typewriter just about now. Anything to get my mind off those mean Trojans. Maybe it’s time I switch back to nontechy stuff,” without turning a hair she said.

It’s not everyday I see her but I can tell she is not her proper self today. She is often bubbly and cheerful,  chattering like a drunken parakeet with endless stories of her adventures.

“Are you going to bake new cookies for the Golden Ladies’ Circle?” I asked candidly. I cannot think of any suggestion at the moment, for fear that it will upset her even more.

“No I have enough sugar to make my adrenalines go racing in the highway. I should get busy with crosstitch, twist paper beads for a scrapbook, or read a book.”

“Don’t worry about it Grandma. It’s been fixed and all your files are intact and clean. A little bit on the expensive side but you can work again.”

“No not today, I don’t feel like going near my pc just yet. I will let this day pass for now. Today I feel so miserable not even a bag of jelly beans will make me cheery,” shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders.

“I feel defeated by the unknown dark forces of technology every time I cannot figure out updates, upgrades and other imbalances to my normal life brought about by modern cybernetics . I wish they could zap all those hackers into the black hole of cyberspace and never to return again.”

She put down her book and looked at the clock. Tucking a pen and paper in her purse, she hurriedly pushed me towards the door. “Oh well, enough of musing. We are late. A woman has to keep to her grocery list after all. Nothing beats a shopping day and a stroll in the supermarket for an exercise.”

Roadtrip Sentiments from Grandma Glasses

“Three weeks travelling around the countryside and I have grown grumpy and meticulous,” says Grandma Glasses.

“It’s like I am sending a grumpy message to the aliens.. Don’t come here, find another place to visit. Go to Croatia, Madagascar, or better yet take baking lessons instead.” she chides.

And when at that popular Starbucks always check if there are available chairs and tables. The crew are only happy to take your order and your money, but not a bit helpful in finding a seat for customers. “How can I enjoy my cup of macchiato when there are no seats available? I cannot sip and just stand here until I finish my cup of coffee. You should have adviced me first-hand that the house is full and I would easily have gone to another place.” she complained to the barista.

Small plate-high protein-low sugar-diet challenge is on…It’s a “hear and see no last call/order plate” at the buffet.
“I would gladly skip the dinner plate offer and shed my extra pounds because I need to buy new jeans and look chic for my next roadtrip.”

Shopping time with Grandma Glasses can be quite an adventure. She explores store windows like a nesting hen, fits last pair sizes like a supervisor late for a meeting, tries long lasting lipstick shades like she’s Sophia Loren, ask for receipts and coupon even when it means waiting, swipes her hotel card twice just to be sure the elevator knows where she’s going, inspects the cheese section like a French fromagère (cheese expert), taps on a baguette just like an artisan baker, goes through her shopping list like a boot camp officer, and checks the cash register with eagle’s eye.

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I was not surprise to see bags of assorted color and sizes  when she came in. It amazes me how she managed to complete her shopping in such a short time. “My feet are on a 2-hour program to stay in the mall. After that I have to be back home like a pigeon or be  Cinderella with sore feet.”

“Wonderful! I am back on size 29 again,” as she neatly folded the new pair of jeans in her luggage.
“Now it’s time to enjoy blueberry jam on my croissant.”