Words to Tow the Day

excerpt from WORDS TO TOW THE DAY with GRANDMA GLASSES

“Nope. Not until today have I encountered these words. Not in the two-volume Oxford Dictionary I kept in my bookshelf neither in Reader’s Digest Word Power,” she tapped her nose while in deep thought.

“Grammar and writing back in my days didn’t require us to use elaborate composition. Conciseness and paraphrasing was and is my way of writing,”mumbles Grandma Glasses.

“I’m not sure if I will remember these words, but it’s good to write them down in case I forget to remember.” Grandma Glasses walks around the room like a  flustered mother hen.

“It may come in handy as writing themes, tags to begin a story, dialogue prompts or outline for a plot,” I was quick to respond confidently.

“OR when I want to confuse people with strange words, or totally disregard them with that,” Grandma Glasses continues.

And our discussion became as theatrical as Brynner and Kerr in the King and I.

(music in background )

(TheWriter enters sheepishly)

(Grandma Glasses shaking her head, stands next to the table)

THE WRITER

Who would want to use psithurism?

GRANDMA GLASSES

when the sound of the wind through trees  seems more visual?

THE WRITER

Or librocubicularist …

(pulls out a book from the shelf)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when plainly a person who reads in bed  is more relaxed and doesn’t sound claustrophobic?

(takes the book from the Writer)

THE WRITER

Defenestrate is too limiting!

(walks to other side of room and looks out the window)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when you want to throw a person or something out of a window , he’s better being sacked!

(walks to TheWriter and taps on his shoulder)

THE WRITER

Of course it will lead to disaster and spellchecker error too —

(turns around and faces Grandma Glasses)

GRANDMA GLASSES

if schlimmbesserung  means an improvement that makes things worse.

(picks up an umbrella from the floor, and flicks it open)

THE WRITER

Why forbid the beauty of the place?

(with arms outstretched)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when a garden walk planted with trees is much beautiful to describe than as xyst alone.

(Gently closes umbrella and slowly walks around the room )

THE WRITER

But I like collywobbles –

(Slowly walks to the door)

GRANDMA GLASSES

as much as I do of butterflies in stomach.

THE WRITER       (Off)

Enough of these strange words.

GRANDMA GLASSES (Off)

These words are too strange for my ears .

(fading music in background )

(light dims and fades)

(curtain close)

“Yes I am a writer. I don’t keep a deadline for my paragraphs. I go with the flow, hang out and brainstorm At The Crafter’s Table. ” – Phwriter11

Apple Sauce

I have been taught not to waste food when I was young, why change that today?- Grandma Glasses

There is something not right on those apples on the fruit platter. She spent her snack days on cherries and melons. She was playing favorites on those fruits.

“I felt guilty for ignoring the red crispy look the last few days,” said Grandma Glasses

“You don’t have to wait for them to get wrinkled and dried out. How about baking an apple pie?” I remember how delicious and heavenly sweet the slice of apple pie Grandma Glasses gave me last Christmas.

“Nope, I don’t feel making pie crust today. That will have to be on another day when I crave for apple pie, not today.” And  as quick as my idea, so did my apple slice dream vanishing in thin air with her  disapproval. 

“But they have to be eaten sooner or let them rot, ” I said, hoping she will change her mind about the pie.

“No no no! I don’t have the heart to put them in the trash bin. I have been taught not to waste food when I was young, why change that today?” she turned to me as if I said something that will bring a curse to the universe.

“I will make apple sauce!” as she  grabbed the apples and went frantically to the kitchen.

“Yes, that’s a good idea. Whether it’s fresh, baked, roasted, crumbled or mushed that’s fine by me. Apples are always good.” I said.

“And applesauce goes well with breakfast crepes, porridge, french toast, ice cream, muffins, cakes and bread too.”

“Perfect! I can’t wait until it’s ready and we can have our tea time.” She gave me a loving look, as I responded with a frenzy, wagging tail.

IMG_9253IMG_9259IMG_9251

 

Ingredients :

4 apples, peeled, cored and sliced

3/4 cups water, 1/4 cup sugar, 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

In a saucepan, combine apples, water, sugar, and cinnamon. Cover, and cook over medium heat for 15 to 20 minutes, or until apples are soft. Allow to cool, then mash with a fork or rubber spatula to your preferred texture and consistency.

 

Roadtrip Sentiments from Grandma Glasses

“Three weeks travelling around the countryside and I have grown grumpy and meticulous,” says Grandma Glasses.

“It’s like I am sending a grumpy message to the aliens.. Don’t come here, find another place to visit. Go to Croatia, Madagascar, or better yet take baking lessons instead.” she chides.

And when at that popular Starbucks always check if there are available chairs and tables. The crew are only happy to take your order and your money, but not a bit helpful in finding a seat for customers. “How can I enjoy my cup of macchiato when there are no seats available? I cannot sip and just stand here until I finish my cup of coffee. You should have adviced me first-hand that the house is full and I would easily have gone to another place.” she complained to the barista.

Small plate-high protein-low sugar-diet challenge is on…It’s a “hear and see no last call/order plate” at the buffet.
“I would gladly skip the dinner plate offer and shed my extra pounds because I need to buy new jeans and look chic for my next roadtrip.”

Shopping time with Grandma Glasses can be quite an adventure. She explores store windows like a nesting hen, fits last pair sizes like a supervisor late for a meeting, tries long lasting lipstick shades like she’s Sophia Loren, ask for receipts and coupon even when it means waiting, swipes her hotel card twice just to be sure the elevator knows where she’s going, inspects the cheese section like a French fromagère (cheese expert), taps on a baguette just like an artisan baker, goes through her shopping list like a boot camp officer, and checks the cash register with eagle’s eye.

0444

I was not surprise to see bags of assorted color and sizes  when she came in. It amazes me how she managed to complete her shopping in such a short time. “My feet are on a 2-hour program to stay in the mall. After that I have to be back home like a pigeon or be  Cinderella with sore feet.”

“Wonderful! I am back on size 29 again,” as she neatly folded the new pair of jeans in her luggage.
“Now it’s time to enjoy blueberry jam on my croissant.”

Am I a Super Grandma?

I give more than two hundred percent of my attention when I am with my grandchildren. When my back aches, it’s a different story. ~ Grandma Glasses

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.  Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.  ~Gene Perret   

Yesterday was just as vigorous as attending a zumba class. I was crawling,  bending, twisting my hips, clapping my hands, doing twirls, sitting down , walking around, doing hand movements , making wobbly strides, singing , shouting, giggling and laughing. I must have burned a thousand calories and stretched a hundred muscles on that routine. I thought I will never survive those four hours. After the session, my bed is the most inviting place I could think of. I would have even called a chiropractor had the liniment not worked. You think it was fun? When you back hurts after a long day of babysitting your one and half year old granny kid? I don’t think so. It made me feel old. I would have wanted to stay on with him for longer hours, but my back and bones is just reminding me of my physical limits. I had to call the parents to come home early. This is ridiculous! I should  be relaxing and enjoying my quiet time as a a simple Grandma Glasses. I never dreamed to be a Super Grandma. I raised two boys, nothing more nothing less because I  can’t bear to hear screaming and crying. Then Fate turned its hand on me with a toddler  on a Friday night.   Was it fun? I don’t think so. Am I complaining? I guess so. It’s nice to hear the little ones learning how to coin words and mimic actions. But keeping an eye on them for four hours straight is unbelievable sacrifice. And to be left alone in the house with a small child is just  as scary as watching a Godzilla film. My eyes and ears need to be as keen to see and hear, my limbs as fast and nimble to race, and all senses and reflexes as sharp as  can be.  Yes I love  my little granny kids, I love them so much that I just want to watch them. Take note how I said “watch them”  and not “run after them”. A toddler’s attention span is 10-15 minutes when highly motivated. So what happens after that? It would require tons of ideas , books, games, cartoon playlist, songs , dances, boxes, pots and pans, cookies and chips to keep them engaged. I don’t have to strain every nerve running after a little super hero. I leave the parenting and babysitting to the parents. So let me draw a line between happy time with grandma. And for this matter, I want to make that a straight and clear line. My vote goes to bread making and cookie making  as my weekend activity. And I hope there will not be any discussion on this. So tell me, am I a Super Grandma? No I am NOT.