Words to Tow the Day

excerpt from WORDS TO TOW THE DAY with GRANDMA GLASSES

“Nope. Not until today have I encountered these words. Not in the two-volume Oxford Dictionary I kept in my bookshelf neither in Reader’s Digest Word Power,” she tapped her nose while in deep thought.

“Grammar and writing back in my days didn’t require us to use elaborate composition. Conciseness and paraphrasing was and is my way of writing,”mumbles Grandma Glasses.

“I’m not sure if I will remember these words, but it’s good to write them down in case I forget to remember.” Grandma Glasses walks around the room like a  flustered mother hen.

“It may come in handy as writing themes, tags to begin a story, dialogue prompts or outline for a plot,” I was quick to respond confidently.

“OR when I want to confuse people with strange words, or totally disregard them with that,” Grandma Glasses continues.

And our discussion became as theatrical as Brynner and Kerr in the King and I.

(music in background )

(TheWriter enters sheepishly)

(Grandma Glasses shaking her head, stands next to the table)

THE WRITER

Who would want to use psithurism?

GRANDMA GLASSES

when the sound of the wind through trees  seems more visual?

THE WRITER

Or librocubicularist …

(pulls out a book from the shelf)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when plainly a person who reads in bed  is more relaxed and doesn’t sound claustrophobic?

(takes the book from the Writer)

THE WRITER

Defenestrate is too limiting!

(walks to other side of room and looks out the window)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when you want to throw a person or something out of a window , he’s better being sacked!

(walks to TheWriter and taps on his shoulder)

THE WRITER

Of course it will lead to disaster and spellchecker error too —

(turns around and faces Grandma Glasses)

GRANDMA GLASSES

if schlimmbesserung  means an improvement that makes things worse.

(picks up an umbrella from the floor, and flicks it open)

THE WRITER

Why forbid the beauty of the place?

(with arms outstretched)

GRANDMA GLASSES

when a garden walk planted with trees is much beautiful to describe than as xyst alone.

(Gently closes umbrella and slowly walks around the room )

THE WRITER

But I like collywobbles –

(Slowly walks to the door)

GRANDMA GLASSES

as much as I do of butterflies in stomach.

THE WRITER       (Off)

Enough of these strange words.

GRANDMA GLASSES (Off)

These words are too strange for my ears .

(fading music in background )

(light dims and fades)

(curtain close)

“Yes I am a writer. I don’t keep a deadline for my paragraphs. I go with the flow, hang out and brainstorm At The Crafter’s Table. ” – Phwriter11

Love is Sweeter

14 Feb 2016

“Love is always sweeter when you bake cake together.” – Grandma Glasses

A great way to spend Valentine’s Day is enjoying chocolate cake together. Savoring its smooth, silky, sweetness with thoughts of  the labor of love spent on making that delicious chocolate mousse cake is just ultimate delight. I follow a simple baking mantra, a sweet tooth is a good springboard to happiness.

 

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The Cheese Smorgasboard

The Cheese Smorgasbord- A Yuletide Story by Grandma Glasses

“Cats will look away if you give him enough salmon, except when he prefers reindeers.”– The Swedish Chef is in the House

It’s been years the Rat Kingdom has been in shambles. The RatKing’s Castle badly needs repair. One can see doors,windows,floors and roofs falling apart. And the Rat Builders are trying to keep its at it’s glorious and grandest best. Days of summer and winter they work their whiskers, shuffling feet and tails to keep walls in place.

Unknown to many is a Rat Builder named D’ratla who has plans otherwise. He hides in the darkest corner watching others toil and labor. He moves stealthily, away from the wind and the sun. He scurries like a noble rat in a pandemic stance. He hordes cheese like an expert amidst an epidemic of shortage. Behind everyone’s back, he stocks his larder with cheddar, camembert, brie and stilton. But he wanted more. He has evil plans.

It’s known to all ratfolks that across the Rat Kingdom is The Big Den. And there’s been a story going around for many generations that in The Big Den lives Lon the Lokatt, a distant cousin of the Cheshire cat from Alice Wonderland. But the Lokatt is meaner, stronger and bigger. His reputation around the community is unparalleled. His last known ancestors were from Greater Hälsingland, survived many traps set by Vikings and priced by royalty for their fur. He is an honorary lifetime member of the Federacion Internationale Feline. He earned his medal for the Highest and Longest scratch record in the Great Book of Nine Lives, and now considered one of the protected species of wild felines.

It was on that cloudy morning when Lon The Lokatt was awakened by a strange sound. Lon’s keen ears caught a small squeaky sound. That was the day Lon The Lokatt first discovered D’ratla.

“It’s that strange sound again. But there is no one in the room.”

He propped his ears and the sound seems to be coming from the big blue vase. Then he heard the squeaky sound again. Suddenly Lon saw a small hairy creature jump out of the vase. He seemed preoccupied to notice Lon  watching him from the top of the grandfather clock.

“I will get the biggest and most expensive pule in the Rat Kingdom even if it means crossing The Big Den,” he squeaked loudly to himself, unaware that some one is watching him from a distance.

 Lon didn’t take that small squeak seriously. “How can a small rodent carry a piece of cheese twice as big as his body?” he yawned.

As days and months went by, Lon became familiar with D’ratla’s activities. Everyday he saw how D’ratla carries small bits of cheese in the vase. But lately Lon noticed D’ratla has been moving more and dragging bigger chunks of cheese.

From his cozy place high on the grandfather clock, Lon became a silent observer of D’ratla’s sneaky ways. He tried to ignore the squeaky sounds. It’s been quite some time since he last hunted small creatures. But every day since he saw D’ratla jump out of the vase, this furry horder started to get on his nerves. And he cannot let this one roam The Big Den.

“This has got to stop. This is too much. If he can get away with chunks of brie and camembert, it’s possible he will get that slice of Pule too. And worse, he might even bring in the donkey for his Cheese Smorgasbord.”

 

The Pule cheese is the world’s most expensive and rare cheese. The RatKing keeps a rare collection in his vault, a symbol of friendship and loyalty between the RatKing and the Balkan Donkey Prince.

So without wasting a second, he growled. Without warning but only a flared face, tufted ears and tail tipped high, Lon stretched and swiftly leaped on the floor. With his preying instinct and feline accuracy he landed on D’ratla. Lon can feel D’ratla wincing and writhing, trying to fight back. But Lon’s claws are far bigger and his fangs sharper.

Then D’ratla sensing his defeat, closed his eyes and gave a faint squeak.

Lon pinned D’ratla. He looked at him and hissed a victory. “This should keep you warned. I don’t go for cheese. I’ve always been on a reindeer diet.”

Moral of the story:  Different strokes for different folks.

Pen and Paper Mode

When I dropped by her flat this morning, Grandma Glasses was on the couch just reading a book. I looked at her and asked, “Are you alright Grandma?”

She  was quiet for a while, then she blurted in despair.

“At the Crafter’s Table I did something really bad. It’s so techy bad I had to step back and stay in the kitchen instead.”

“What happened?” I calmly asked. I looked around her flat and it seems impeccably in order.

“My attempt to remove ten malicious threats on my pc failed and I had to ask the I.T. consultant to fix the mess for me.”

“Last time, I managed to fix a similar mess manually without spending a cent except hours sulking at my desk. But this time it was resolved with a $40 adware. I felt so crappy I even had a nightmare,” She continued mumbling her frustration while I sat down next to her to listen.

“I am in the upper echelon of stupid users getting hijacked by the top nasty Trojans. Oh how I hate them. It’s been a while I got into a Trojan domain. And it’s not fun at all. Worrying about how much damage they have done in the system I had to disconnect all my accounts for fear they might jump and do more on my other devices. Not that I have anything but to have a nasty shadow stalking my registry, processes and activities is just as annoying as a fly buzzing around my cup of coffee.”

“I would welcome a pen and paper for my doodles, or the comforting clicks of a rickety typewriter just about now. Anything to get my mind off those mean Trojans. Maybe it’s time I switch back to nontechy stuff,” without turning a hair she said.

It’s not everyday I see her but I can tell she is not her proper self today. She is often bubbly and cheerful,  chattering like a drunken parakeet with endless stories of her adventures.

“Are you going to bake new cookies for the Golden Ladies’ Circle?” I asked candidly. I cannot think of any suggestion at the moment, for fear that it will upset her even more.

“No I have enough sugar to make my adrenalines go racing in the highway. I should get busy with crosstitch, twist paper beads for a scrapbook, or read a book.”

“Don’t worry about it Grandma. It’s been fixed and all your files are intact and clean. A little bit on the expensive side but you can work again.”

“No not today, I don’t feel like going near my pc just yet. I will let this day pass for now. Today I feel so miserable not even a bag of jelly beans will make me cheery,” shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders.

“I feel defeated by the unknown dark forces of technology every time I cannot figure out updates, upgrades and other imbalances to my normal life brought about by modern cybernetics . I wish they could zap all those hackers into the black hole of cyberspace and never to return again.”

She put down her book and looked at the clock. Tucking a pen and paper in her purse, she hurriedly pushed me towards the door. “Oh well, enough of musing. We are late. A woman has to keep to her grocery list after all. Nothing beats a shopping day and a stroll in the supermarket for an exercise.”