Pen and Paper Mode

When I dropped by her flat this morning, Grandma Glasses was on the couch just reading a book. I looked at her and asked, “Are you alright Grandma?”

She  was quiet for a while, then she blurted in despair.

“At the Crafter’s Table I did something really bad. It’s so techy bad I had to step back and stay in the kitchen instead.”

“What happened?” I calmly asked. I looked around her flat and it seems impeccably in order.

“My attempt to remove ten malicious threats on my pc failed and I had to ask the I.T. consultant to fix the mess for me.”

“Last time, I managed to fix a similar mess manually without spending a cent except hours sulking at my desk. But this time it was resolved with a $40 adware. I felt so crappy I even had a nightmare,” She continued mumbling her frustration while I sat down next to her to listen.

“I am in the upper echelon of stupid users getting hijacked by the top nasty Trojans. Oh how I hate them. It’s been a while I got into a Trojan domain. And it’s not fun at all. Worrying about how much damage they have done in the system I had to disconnect all my accounts for fear they might jump and do more on my other devices. Not that I have anything but to have a nasty shadow stalking my registry, processes and activities is just as annoying as a fly buzzing around my cup of coffee.”

“I would welcome a pen and paper for my doodles, or the comforting clicks of a rickety typewriter just about now. Anything to get my mind off those mean Trojans. Maybe it’s time I switch back to nontechy stuff,” without turning a hair she said.

It’s not everyday I see her but I can tell she is not her proper self today. She is often bubbly and cheerful,  chattering like a drunken parakeet with endless stories of her adventures.

“Are you going to bake new cookies for the Golden Ladies’ Circle?” I asked candidly. I cannot think of any suggestion at the moment, for fear that it will upset her even more.

“No I have enough sugar to make my adrenalines go racing in the highway. I should get busy with crosstitch, twist paper beads for a scrapbook, or read a book.”

“Don’t worry about it Grandma. It’s been fixed and all your files are intact and clean. A little bit on the expensive side but you can work again.”

“No not today, I don’t feel like going near my pc just yet. I will let this day pass for now. Today I feel so miserable not even a bag of jelly beans will make me cheery,” shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders.

“I feel defeated by the unknown dark forces of technology every time I cannot figure out updates, upgrades and other imbalances to my normal life brought about by modern cybernetics . I wish they could zap all those hackers into the black hole of cyberspace and never to return again.”

She put down her book and looked at the clock. Tucking a pen and paper in her purse, she hurriedly pushed me towards the door. “Oh well, enough of musing. We are late. A woman has to keep to her grocery list after all. Nothing beats a shopping day and a stroll in the supermarket for an exercise.”

What’s in the box?

Over a cup of coffee , PhWriter  and Grandma Glasses discussed today’s news. Grandma Glasses can’t help to feel distraught by trending events overseas while PhWriter  scribbled on her notepad to keep her thoughts aligned. Violence, anger, corruption and poverty are common headlines.

poetry whats in the box

Roadtrip Sentiments from Grandma Glasses

“Three weeks travelling around the countryside and I have grown grumpy and meticulous,” says Grandma Glasses.

“It’s like I am sending a grumpy message to the aliens.. Don’t come here, find another place to visit. Go to Croatia, Madagascar, or better yet take baking lessons instead.” she chides.

And when at that popular Starbucks always check if there are available chairs and tables. The crew are only happy to take your order and your money, but not a bit helpful in finding a seat for customers. “How can I enjoy my cup of macchiato when there are no seats available? I cannot sip and just stand here until I finish my cup of coffee. You should have adviced me first-hand that the house is full and I would easily have gone to another place.” she complained to the barista.

Small plate-high protein-low sugar-diet challenge is on…It’s a “hear and see no last call/order plate” at the buffet.
“I would gladly skip the dinner plate offer and shed my extra pounds because I need to buy new jeans and look chic for my next roadtrip.”

Shopping time with Grandma Glasses can be quite an adventure. She explores store windows like a nesting hen, fits last pair sizes like a supervisor late for a meeting, tries long lasting lipstick shades like she’s Sophia Loren, ask for receipts and coupon even when it means waiting, swipes her hotel card twice just to be sure the elevator knows where she’s going, inspects the cheese section like a French fromagère (cheese expert), taps on a baguette just like an artisan baker, goes through her shopping list like a boot camp officer, and checks the cash register with eagle’s eye.

I was not surprise to see bags of assorted color and sizes  when she came in. It amazes me how she managed to complete her shopping in such a short time. “My feet are on a 2-hour program to stay in the mall. After that I have to be back home like a pigeon or be  Cinderella with sore feet.”

“Wonderful! I am back on size 29 again,” as she neatly folded the new pair of jeans in her luggage.
“Now it’s time to enjoy blueberry jam on my croissant.”

Trick or Treat!

“I go hunt for chocolate bars! They’re haunting my sweet tooth and I will not let them win. I don’t have to don witch hats for trick or treat. My eyeglasses are enough.” –  Grandma Glasses.

trick or treat_01

Stay Happy

“I’m good,but I could be meaner.. just try.” – phwriter11


My life is not your life,

And cookies in my cookie box

Are not yours either.

So who are you to judge me?

I ain’t done you no harm,

So why piss me?

Life is too short

So why bother?